.I have always referred to my classroom as the "selfie" class, because the kids are in control. On the first day, we always take the time to draw a little selfie of ourselves in that moment. I explain to the students that they are the one in charge of the class, they will drive our learning, and they will create our culture. In an effort to expand on that idea this year, I have added a Permission to be Me Permission slip to our selfie assignment. Its super corny, but I'm excited for it. Sometimes all we need is someone to give us permission. And the only one who can really give you permission to be your true self(ie), is you! Click on the image below for the entire file
For the past few years, as a 6th grade teacher, I have used a Middle School Fears project, where students argue what the scariest part of middle school is, as a springboard to creating a culture of care and respect in my classroom. By making everyone vulnerable in the first few days, we were able to build a sense of community and understanding, and the uncomfortable conversations that happened as we dove in to the content were easier to have. With my transition to 8th grade, the same proejct won't work, but I attempted to recreate the spirit of the Fears project with a This I Believe project. The idea came about after speaking to a new colleague about finding a vehicle to create vulnerability and then understanding in the first few weeks. I am sharing below for 2 reasons:
1. Sharing is caring 2. (and more importantly) I am looking for more feedback. I have sent this to colleagues in my building, but always value the insight of others. Feel free to leave me any feedback in the comment section below! Fair warning, this post won't be about SEL as much as it will be about my own reflections from my seminar. Also, as much as I would like to say I regret not blogging, this program has kept me from my initial goal of a once a week post (which I am totally ok with, I'm learning too much here!)
So, to provide background, I am currently at IUPUI (in fact in their wonderful library) in the Midwest city of Indianapolis where I am studying under Edward Curtis IV. Along with 15 other teachers from around the country, we are exploring the complex and wonderful history of Muslim American history and life in the United States. More information can be found here. This was a huge step outside of my comfort zone. As an introvert with anxiety, traveling 600+ miles from home, on my own, to study something I had very little knowledge of with teachers who are much more experienced in their craft was overwhelming. Yet, I got in my car on July 7th and made the journey here. And what a journey it has been. I do not want to discount what I have learned about the history and life of Muslim Americans. I have been studying in detail these wonderful narratives for two weeks. However, that is not the focus of my writing today. For those interested, fear not, I will have plenty to say about my academic knowledge in the near future and I'll have lots of wonderful materials to share out. Instead, I want to focus on what I have learned about myself as an educator, about educators in general, and about my own sense of self and growth. 1. We all have 1 goal: our kids. This is an obvious lesson, but I think its one that always bears repeating. In the last 2 weeks I have sat next to, discussed text and history with, dined with, raised a glass with, and wandered Krogers with some amazing educators. And no matter what type of school we teach in, what resources our schools and states have, or what age and subject we teach, we all want what is best for our kids. Our conversations debating the role of choice and power within the Muslim faith have all been illuminated by our passion for our children. We have attempted to add context and understanding to every piece we read in attempts to better understand the religion we are studying. This is a natural phenomenon for teachers, I believe. We always recognize the multiple sides to the story in our students. We are always looking to increase understanding and acceptance. And because of that passion, we offer an important lens to view society. When our goal is our kids and their safety and success, then our way to see the world and its past is to find the best in others and create avenues for everyone to have a voice. We do it every day in our classrooms. Our common goal unites us, but also has such potential to unite those around us. 2. The best way to figure out who you are is to be the only one around you that knows you. That seem quite confusing, and it is. It also is deeply personal and has nothing to due with teaching (at least on the surface). For me, this experience has been eye opening to the person I am and want to be. As I enter in to my 5th school year, and finish up my 4th year overall, I have continually redefined who I am as both an educator and as a person. I started working at my current school in December, after my May graduation. I was 21 years old. I still lived at home, and most of my friends were still in college. I was afraid I would not be successful in the job I had been dreaming of since I was five. As my career advanced, I quickly moved out of my parents house and began the journey of finding who I was. However, I always felt like I had to be someone for others. As the youngest teacher in my building for the first 2 and a half years, I allowed myself to be defined by my age. I was everyone's "tech girl" and felt like I was expected to participate in every activity because of my youth (this of course was not the case, my colleagues are wonderful, I am just a worrier!). In my second year I remember attending a PD where an admin told me I wasn't an introvert, because he had seen me teach. This was difficult for me- I had always used that word to define who I was and navigate my choices. But he said it, so I thought it had to be true. I allowed my ability to maneuver through Google Apps to define the roles I played within my team, though technology has never been my favorite way to teach. In fact, when a colleague popped in to my room for our monthly "Pop-in" program, she commented on how she always thought I used tech. The following "pop-ins" I was sure to infuse tech, even if it wasn't where I was comfortable. This all extended in to my personal relationships as well. I hid my paper calendars and post its notes from many who assumed I was a Google Calendar gal. I responded yes to every social event, even if it meant sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant until I saw someone I knew walk in so I could shadow them the entire time. And then, even in situations where I was confident and knowledgable, I played a spectator role. I always said yes, but I was rarely an active participant. Now yes, some of this comes from my introversion and anxiety. But more of it, especially in connection to colleagues, was in an effort to present the version of myself that I believed they wanted. (I can't stress enough, this was all going on in my head. I work with wonderful people who I know will accept me in whatever way I present myself) But here, in Indy, where I am playing both the role of the teacher and the learner, as well as just a person (crazy, right? Teachers are people too), I have had the chance to present myself in whatever way I want. After all, no one here knows that I am an introvert, or that I struggle with anxiety. It was liberating! And I have had the chance to be exactly who I want to be. I've attended a baseball game where I got to be honest about the fact that I don't really like baseball, but I love stadium hotdogs. I went to (and won! yay team) trivia night at a local bar where I was not ashamed of my extensive knowledge of 2008 pop music. There was a moment the other night, when a fellow participant said "Kaity really means what she says. Don't mess with her", and in that moment I was so proud of myself, because that is the person I've always wanted to be seen as, but have never felt that I could or should project that. (I will admit, that comment did not come after some deep insightful discussion about Islam, it came as we walked to trivia and I proclaimed that "barnes and noble, though great, is not a real bookstore, but still). Being in a place where no one knows you means you get to redefine who you are. I teach my 6th graders that every September. But the additional step that now excited me so much is now that I have a better grasp on who I am and who I want others to see me as, I can bring that back to my "real life" and stand a little (or maybe in a lot) taller. 3. Redefining yourself doesn't mean changing yourself. It can mean embracing yourself. With the previous point in mind, one of the most interesting things I have learned about myself here is that I am not afraid to tell others who I am. Within the first few days of this program, I proclaimed to many that I am an introvert, that I am highly anxious, that I worry about ridiculous things, that I'm a messy person, etc. Basically I have embraced who I am and have shared it with others. And it was easy to do! It caused me no pain to explain why I'm not always jumping in to our socratic discussions because of my introversion, and I was not judged for that behavior either. No one mocked me for my anxiety in needing to print doubles of the materials just in case, or drive 45 min to Target because I really felt like our lesson needed poster board. I was clear about why I needed to do these things, or why I behaved in that way, with those around me, and it was accepted. That is not to say that I feel like I owe others an explanation for my actions, but rather that I felt liberation in explaining my actions. My constant need to rationalize my decisions has been welcomed by those around me, but most importantly, by my own self. I am very aware that this post in long and that it has little to do with education. If you stuck around for the entire post, rock on! I will have much more to say, and will get back to the teaching as well, in the near future. But I wanted to get this all down too. I am here in Indy for another week and am excited about all that is left to learn! Feel free to leave a comment below! I had the chance a few years ago to spend some dedicated PD time creating a unique experience for my students first five days of school. Under the direction of Mark Wise @wisemancometh I was given some important questions to ponder. What kind of culture did I want in my classroom? How could I create that culture? How do I create a culture of learning and care when my 11 year old students are afraid to even walk in the halls of this new middle school experience? And that last thought is exactly what inspired me. The Middle School Fear Project was born. For 3 years this project has been the introduction to my classroom and thus the beginning of our class culture each year. Students arrive to the first real day of social studies class (after the chaotic day 1 of opening lockers, touring the school, and making sure we don´t lose any 6th graders) and grab a small piece of paper. On one side of the paper is a scared face, the other side is blank. After sharing a short story with my students about my own middle school experience I ask them to write down what the scariest part of middle school is. I remind students that I don´t know their handwriting. They do not write their name on the paper. ¨Just focus on the fear¨, I continually remind them. Already their faces are shocked- why is this woman who is supposed to teach me telling me to be afraid? After they write their fears, it only gets stranger. I ask the students to stand up. Push their chairs in. Grab their paper. Closer their eyes. And crumple it up. And then throw it. Keep throwing. Grab another crumpled paper and throw it. We don´t stop throwing until everyone has a smile on their face (it doesn´t take long). Then I ask every student to find a piece of paper and sit down. I let the room get quiet. And then we open them up. Students read the fear they found. I ask them to raise their hand if they have the same fear as the one on the paper in front of them. No one knows what each paper says. But they can see the commonalities. They can see that everyone has the same fear. It usually gets even quieter here. So then we stand up and throw things again. This continues for a few rounds. After turning our fears in to laughs and smiles the fears turn in to our first project. Choose a fear and argue why its the scariest. We spend the next week learning about making a claim and supporting it with evidence. Students research their fears. Students afraid of using their lockers time how long it takes to open one. Students afraid of getting lost count the number of classrooms in the building. Students afraid of stress take to the internet and research the impact of stress on kids their age. Students can turn their claim in to a slide presentation, video, poster, essay, honestly any product. And they DO NOT present the project. No one sees it but me. This project is our introduction to SEL. The students don´t know it but they are creating their own classroom culture. They are free to share their fears and honest selves with each other. The rest of the year, we lean back on this project. By June, it becomes something to laugh about. And reflect upon. Students realize their growth when they can reopen a project about being deathly afraid of evil 8th graders at the end of June, after becoming friends with some of those perceived evil creatures. Speaking of evil 8th graders, this project only worked because I taught 6th grade. As I transition to 8th grade in September, I need a new first five project. I have a few ideas, inspired by this Fear project. Thinking about turning the question from ¨What is the scariest part of middle school?¨ in to ¨What is the scariest part of our world today?¨ or something along those lines. Want to go more global, bigger picture, social justice with it. But I´m still not sure. So I´m open to anyone with an idea! Feel free to comment below. At the start of every school year I review my rules. There are 10 of them. They include ¨Always write in complete sentences" ¨Never ask an adult their age¨ and ¨Have Fun¨. Through the years some of these rules have changed. They will continue to change. But Rule #10 (I hope) will never change. Rule 10: Don´t Forget to be awesome. Its a simple message. But its one that we need to remind our student about daily. Their lives are stressful. They bounce from class to class, extracurricular to sports, all while balancing the social pressures of middle school. Even those with the most ideal of home lives forget how awesome they are. Its easy to forget when their lives are so busy all while hormones and adolescence are constantly telling them they are weird and strange and smelly (The latter is accurate, lets be real). With all of this in mind it is so important that we remind our students to be awesome. Because its not just a catchy phrase or an homage to The Lego Movie. It really is a reminder that we are all human. That we all make mistakes, forget assignments, have pens explode on our new pants, get angry at a teacher, fight with a friend, or wake up with giant zits on our face. But we are still awesome. And we can´t forget that. Because to be awesome is to be human. Flaws and all. I´m making it my summer project to blog about my experience with social emotional learning in the middle school classroom. I am no expert. I am no veteran teacher. I do not have any specific training beyond my teaching certification. But I have seen first hand the impact SEL has on my students. And I do want to continue to improve my craft. The last (and largest) assignment for my 6th graders has always been their 4th marking period reflection. The assignment begins with a quote: ¨Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous.¨-Confucius. So this is a challenge to myself, to practice what I preach. I will try to post at least once a week a lesson I´ve learned, tool I´ve experimented with, or a mistake I have made in hopes that I can learn from it. Maybe you will learn something too! It's ok. That’s my take away after an inspiring weekend of PD, networking, and learning alongside the best educators in the area. You would think it would be more profound, my lesson. Something bigger, deeper, world changing. But it's ok. One more time...it's ok.
It's ok to be an introvert. That's how my experience this weekend began. Walking into a large room, having no clue where to sit, I was overwhelmed those first 20 minutes. But I sat at a table, come to find out, full of introverts. We discussed our fear of what the morning may bring. We are excited and professional educators, but icebreakers and dancing didn’t really do it for us. So when we were asked to get up and sing, and then to get up and move, to meet new people, while we were still just getting a clue for what the weekend would bring, I’m going to be honest- I was ready to leave. I love PD, I love learning, but I suffer from severe social anxiety. I didn’t know if I could handle it. I saw some familiar faces in the crowd, but even them I was afraid to approach. That's just how my mind works. Flash Forward beyond an inspiring, yet overwhelming, breakfast to my first session. The Case for the Quiet Kids. A session about introverts. I was excited. I wanted to give ECET2 a chance; I had talked to friend the day before, asking if my introverted and shy nature would be able to survive a weekend like this. She said I could. So here I was, giving the experience a second chance. Thanks to Chrissy Romano @theconnectededu, I was hooked. RIght away she shared her own feelings on the day. She was excited and engaged, but overwhelmed with the schedule. It was so nice to hear someone felt the same as I. I listened with interest to her classroom strategies for reaching out to introverts and shy kids, and learned a lot. But I also silently reflected upon myself. I thought about my introversion. My behaviors in my own building. And it clicked. It's ok that I’m an introvert. I’m not a bad teacher because I don’t speak out at faculty meetings. It's ok to share a slide presentation on a new tool I'm using instead of standing up in front of a crowd and teaching in. I’m not a bad teacher because I still get embarrassed when another adult comes in my classroom. Just as I teach my introverted students that they are valued, I need to start valuing my own introversion. Small groups are where I prosper. I’m not any less of a teacher of a leader because I prefer helping others in the privacy of an empty classroom. Large crowds still scare me, make me break out in a rash. Conversations after meetings, or in the halls is where I have begun to explore my role as a teacher leader. That’s ok. It's ok. It's ok to be a teacher. This lesson came from an ah-ha moment during the ProAction cafe. The first group I sat down with was discussing how to get buy in from team members who are reluctant to new admin. I was curious so I sat in. As the conversation began, there was a veteran educator, whose name I sadly didn’t catch. She spoke about the constant change in admin she had dealt with and her frustration with constant new tech initiatives, which seemed to leave behind and discount veteran teachers. As the cafe continued, during round 3 I landed at a table with others who had discussed teacher leadership and teacher burnout. One told her story of her decision to leave her district and the fear that came with that move. Another discussed how teachers can and should serve as leaders. And it clicked for me so well in that moment, that the introvert shared her thoughts outloud! “It's ok to be a teacher.” It's ok to want to be a teacher the rest of your life. In my building and district colleagues and supervisors have often asked me about when I was going to go back to school to be an admin. They joke that I won’t be around in the classroom for long, or that I would be better at their job than they are. And all of this I know comes from a place of respect. No one is saying I should leave the classroom; they are saying I would make a good leader (I point that I often disagree with btw). But sitting at that table it clicked. It's ok to want to be a teacher the rest of my life. I’m only 24. Hell I don’t even have tenure yet! I have no idea what my future holds. I know my personal goals, but I’m also a realist and a cynic who understands our goals and dreams don’t always work out. But I would love to be considered a leader one day. We too often think though, that in order to be a leader we need a promotion, a new job title, and an office somewhere removed from kids. But we can be leaders in our classroom. So many wonderful teachers I met this weekend are leaders. And they teach every day. They aren’t supervisors, principals, superintendents; they still impact change. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in administration. Someone has to do it, and many people are destined for it. It's how they’re wired. But I’m not wired that way. I’m wired to be a teacher. Of course that could change. I am young, I am still finding my way around this career. 20 years from now who knows where I’ll be. But for now, its ok. That's ok. I’m not any less of a teacher because of it. It's ok to be proud of yourself and share with others. I have tons of friends that are wonderful teachers. I work with some of the greatest teachers on this planet. And yet, I’m always so afraid to share my ideas, lessons, thoughts… Yes, part of this comes from my introversion, but more of it comes from my anxiety that if I share, I will be “tooting” my own horn. I will be selfish and others will think that I think that I’m better than them (anxiety can be a real bitch sometimes). Over the last 2 days I watched and listened to wonderful educators share their stories their methods and their goals. And never, not once, did I say to myself “they think they’re hot stuff”. Yet that's always my fear when I share. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it's part of the culture we live in where everyone is competing. But in schools, where we all want the same person to win (our kids) what is there to compete against? Nothing. I’m a cynic remember, so I’m not going to use this new realization to live with rose colored glasses. I know there will still be people who think those that share are doing it for personal benefit. But I know now that's not the case. We share to help others. We share to help our ideas grow, to support the ideas of others, and to connect these ideas to our universal goals. To educate our kids. To give them the tools to create a better future. That's what it comes down to. Nothing else. We aren’t in a race, the only prize is the better future we hope our students can bring. We will all benefit from that. So why are we afraid to be proud, to share? Pride isn’t a dirty word. We tell our students to be proud of themselves all the time. We should be proud of ourselves. That's ok. It's ok. It's ok to want to quit and leave and cry all at the same time. Teaching is hard. Teachers all know it. Most of the world knows it. Even if they will never admit to it. I loved that video that went around this summer, with the Target mom ranting about school supply lists. The people that don’t respect teachers couldn’t survive 10 minutes in a classroom with 28 11-year olds staring at them. I really is a crazy job. And yet we love it. We do it everyday. Every morning at 7:40 I stand at my door with a smile and energy and a bag of tricks up my sleeve. I know I love teaching. I know most teachers love teaching. And yet some days, I want to run away and never come back. In the days before ECET2 I read Aaron Hogan’s “Shattering the Perfect Teacher Myth”. I knew that I would feel overwhelmed this weekend. I knew part of me would feel inadequate. I wanted a reminder that there is no such thing as a perfect teacher. And though a wonderful book I highly recommend, it didn’t help much. I still felt overwhelmed. I went into Saturday morning wondering why they let me attend, even if I did ask my best friend nominate me. I’m not worth being here. I hate my job some days. Everyone here loves to teach. Every day. WRONG. As I listened to the conversations (particularly those that happened during the down time, networking, and happy hour!) one thing was clear. For every day we love our job and couldn’t imagine anything else, we have a day where we want to quit, run, and never turn back. But we aren’t bad teachers because of that. In fact, that's what keeps our passion alive. I attended a sessions on day 1 with Joseph Pizzo @ProfJPizzo on ELL students. I learned a lot from what he was saying. It was great, inspiring, made me want to start planning new lessons right way. But it was the following day, in a short unconference session where this same awesome educator who inspired me the day before, raised his voice over his frustration with testing in schools. He, like most of us, was upset with how the testing culture has altered our schools, beyond our usual complaints about testing time and anxiety. But sitting there, complaining about the system with other educators made me realize that some days we do want to walk away. We aren’t bad teachers because of it. We may be upset with a student, a parent email, a new building initiative, or yet another memo from the state. We get so angry and upset that we start thinking about other careers. I often joke about going back to Old Navy. Folding tshirt never got me this mad. But it also wasn’t my passion. I never beat myself up, cried in the car ride home, or sat in bed all weekend after a rough shift at the store. And yet with teaching, all of those things have happened, and continue to happen. But I’m not a bad teacher because of it. It's a byproduct of passion. We are passionate people. Some days I just want to scream. That's ok. It's ok. There are so many other lessons I learned this weekend. So much more about myself and those around me that I want to consider, to reflect on, and to explore. I didn’t share much with others this weekend. I didn’t introduce myself to the people I’ve admired on twitter for months. I didn’t lead a session, sing with the crowd, or form a lifelong connection with anyone. But that's ok. It's ok. We’re all still learning. We will all keep learning. I will keep learning. The Teaching Channel is a great resource for new teachers. The site is full of resources and information on best practices, but my personal fav are the videos. As a new teachers, so many of us want to jump in and plan awesome activities like trials, seminars, close readings, reading groups, etc. However, it can be intimidating to teach using a structure you have never seen or used before. The Teaching Channel is full of videos that show some of the most popular teacher structures out there. You are also able to search by content, grade, and topic.
Edshelf is a great place if you are looking for a new digital tool, but aren't quite sure where to go. The site operates like Pinterest, linking you to various resources from around the internet. The added benefit of Edshelf is the ability to conduct searches. The site allows you to search for tools, apps, and sites by narrowing down grade level, platform, subject, and more. When I am looking for something new, Edshelf is always a great place to start.
I don't to say too much about Pinterest, because I know so many people are already familiar with it. However, I do want to encourage everyone to use it. I find that most people hear Pinterst and think wedding planning and crafts, but it is a great PD tools for us teachers. There are tons of resources and examples available online and it is a great place to network with others. I also love how you can organize information. I keep separate boards for each of the civilizations we study. Check it out if you haven't already, and see my boards via the icon below.
|